I was coming to office today on my bike and I saw an accident. Initially I saw traffic jam, but then when I cleared myself from it, I first saw a bike lying on the road and then when I moved forward a bit, I saw a man lying on the road, his face down, helmet next to his head, broken and stream of blood flowing from his head all the way to the other end of a 90 ft highway. For once I stood still. I am not used to seeing dead bodies. Even when I used to travel by trains, if I saw an accident (unfortunately which is almost a daily event), I would get curious to see what and how and then I would puke. It was beyond me to see these things. I always used to wonder how could people go on staring at something like this for mins together standing still as if its the eighth wonder?
Anyways, I saw this guy, dead (he had lost too much blood to be alive). My mouth started watering as I was beginning to throw up. I was on the bike while I was feeling this so somehow I had to control it. Obviously in this time we start thinking spiritually. So somehow I managed to push in my pukey sensation. Once I got a little comfortable, the firts thought that always hits me when I see something like this is.... lets say his name is Ramesh....
....usual morning.... Ramesh must had left for work.... someone in his family would had prepared tiffin (I saw it at the accident spot).... people waiting for him at work....
his mom - I hope he likes Rekha and gets married to her and gets settled soon....,
his dad - I wish he gets his incerament this time, I cant see him worried for everyone at home always....
his sister - my brother has promised me to take me to watch Fashion this saturday, I know he would not like it, but he is coming for me.... I am happy....
his boss - he is never on time, I hate this habit of his....
his collegue - he is a hardworker but stupid, he does not understand he needs to kiss ass a bit to get up, hope he understand....
his friends - this time we are gonna make him pay for the booze, everytime we cant pay for him....
He does not turn up for office. Boss is upset, collegues try to reach him but in vain. Somewhere after about 2 hours somehow police gets his home number and calls his family.
His mom answers the phone.
Cops inform her about the accident and asks someone to come for identification. In a moment, her son who she took care of right from childhood, to adolscene, to teenage, to being a man, to sharing his happy moments, his fights, his weaknesses, his vulnerabilities, his achievements, his complaints, his entire existence, every moment, flashes her mind. For sometime, its like life has left her body. She is unable to react, unable to speak, unable to understand. Its like she is paralysed. There is a storm of emotions getting build in her heart. She does not say anything.
The cop at the other end is saying hello, hello. She does not even know whether to say I am here or I am not. She is NOT willing to accept this. She for a while is thinking, maybe I am in dreams, this is not true, this cannot be true. Somehow she starts to cry....
She tells her husband to speak and she sits on the sofa unable to tell him why she just abruptly handed the phone to him. He talks to the cops. He is a man. Obviously he is expected to act more practically. But here we are talking about his son. His dream of Ramesh living a life that he was not able to live. And he gets the news that his son is dead.
He slowly breaks down. Like a building starting to shatter. He has supported everyone in his family all his life but this time he needs support. He needs to be held, he needs to be consoled, he needs to be comforted, he needs to be take care of.... however, the worst is yet to happen.... And he has already started thinking of that. Its so ironic, people who are close to you always fear of the worst happening to you....
His father has already started thinking, how will he and his wife see his son in torn clothes, who they have dressed themselves in the best clothes when he was a baby.... How will they see him in blood when even a drop of Ramesh would make them feel pain beyond words? How will they see his body, lifeless, motionless when he was their life? How will they see his "dead" body when every second of every minute of their life they wished him a "fulfilled life"????
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Saturday, November 8, 2008
My First.... My self.... On writing....
My friends always persuaded me to write something. I always used to come up with a reason not to. So finally when one of my friends recently asked me to write something, I thought since I have such well cooked thoughts about not writing why dont I put them on a piece of paper.
I always used to think writing is for people smarter then me. This thought was like a bush in deep waters. Eventually other small little thoughts used to get entangled in this one thought and it became so huge, that it started affecting my day to day writing of emails too. I always used to think "I cannot write good" "I cannot write sensible stuff". To add to this was a comment made by one of my friend once when she read what I had written. She said "you write as if you talk. THis is not how you write. There are rules." All I had to was to hear this and thats it. My last piece of motivation was shattered, the last hole from which light entered was covered. It was utter darkness. I always read people and I used to tell myself when some of the most simple writing authors like Robin Sharma used to be so successful, how is it that these guys can say such simple things and be so successful? How is it that they lay out a few golden rules which are basically day to day thoughts that you completely ignore become life changing cues for some?
Recently as I said earlier, I was talking to this friend of mine, who motivated me to write. She said all this rules of writing is useless when it comes to blogging. Blogging is for people to get things out of system. Its not for you to publish. Its for you to tell others how you think. But yes, if you are going to think what other will think about you based on what you've written, you will never be able to express yourself. Thats when I realised something. THis is so very true for me in my day to day life as well. The way I think of how would people think when they read what I have written, this is the same way I think about people's reaction when I behave with them. This struck me so hard that I decided to write going against my town limiting beliefs. And now that I am writing, I feel it as if I have been able to create an outlet to my heart. It really feels good to write and I owe this feeling to my friend. Moreover I have also realised its the simple things that comes out do actually come out from the heart. WHen it becomes complex, you have to understand it is only when you have "processed" your simple thoughts. I guess this is also what authors like RObin Sharma and Stephen COvey always wanted us to realise.
I always used to think writing is for people smarter then me. This thought was like a bush in deep waters. Eventually other small little thoughts used to get entangled in this one thought and it became so huge, that it started affecting my day to day writing of emails too. I always used to think "I cannot write good" "I cannot write sensible stuff". To add to this was a comment made by one of my friend once when she read what I had written. She said "you write as if you talk. THis is not how you write. There are rules." All I had to was to hear this and thats it. My last piece of motivation was shattered, the last hole from which light entered was covered. It was utter darkness. I always read people and I used to tell myself when some of the most simple writing authors like Robin Sharma used to be so successful, how is it that these guys can say such simple things and be so successful? How is it that they lay out a few golden rules which are basically day to day thoughts that you completely ignore become life changing cues for some?
Recently as I said earlier, I was talking to this friend of mine, who motivated me to write. She said all this rules of writing is useless when it comes to blogging. Blogging is for people to get things out of system. Its not for you to publish. Its for you to tell others how you think. But yes, if you are going to think what other will think about you based on what you've written, you will never be able to express yourself. Thats when I realised something. THis is so very true for me in my day to day life as well. The way I think of how would people think when they read what I have written, this is the same way I think about people's reaction when I behave with them. This struck me so hard that I decided to write going against my town limiting beliefs. And now that I am writing, I feel it as if I have been able to create an outlet to my heart. It really feels good to write and I owe this feeling to my friend. Moreover I have also realised its the simple things that comes out do actually come out from the heart. WHen it becomes complex, you have to understand it is only when you have "processed" your simple thoughts. I guess this is also what authors like RObin Sharma and Stephen COvey always wanted us to realise.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
