Simple.... Happiness....

For my parents.... my support.... everytime.... every moment....

For my sister.... I never realised how strong she is till I became weak....

For Kahaan.... who taught me how to smile....

I was talking to a very good friend of mine y'day. She is on cloud nine as she has met this wonderful guy and is totally fallen for him. She was going on and on and on and on about how special he makes her feel and how happy she is and how they both are talking about their wonderful future together. All this while I was thinking "Oh My God.... this is not gonna work out.... this is gonna fall and shes gonna get hurt.... this is to good to be true.... u cant meet someone online and a few exchange of emails and you decide to spend the rest of your life with him???? he is too good with words, which means he is gonna be using that skill for the rest of his life and my friend will suffer...." as much as I wanted to say all this to her, I stopped myself. Because she was happy. She was very very very happy. And frankly, she had all the reasons to be.

So beyond a point of her expressing her happiness and my mind constantly telling me "this is a dream and the higher she goes the bigger the fall is gonna be...." I thought why am I thinking like this? Why am I not happy "genuinely" for my friend? Why is it that when I see someone happy, I start thinking about things that will go wrong?

Thats when I realised that you can be happy for someone if you can be happy yourself. Most importantly I realised that one needs to be courageous to be happy. I dont think I have the courage to be happy and laugh like a child who does not care about the world. In my own pursuit of happyness, I have lost the courage somewhere. Every potential incident for me to be happy presents itself in front of me with such beautiful creativity of a threat around it with like a billboard saying "this is not gonna last long...." it scares me and with that my mind starts creating scenarios of what could go wrong instantly validating that feeling with what HAS gone wrong to convert strongly into a belief in itself.

"It is so simple to be happy, but it is so difficult to be simple...."

When I see my 6 month old nephew smiling all the time, I feel happy for that moment. His happiness is filled with simplicity & innocence. Once my wife said while playing with my nephew "how wierd, you dont remember anything about the most happiest period of your life...." to which I replied "thats what makes it the happiest coz u dont remember anything.... its only once you start remembering things the two buckets of good and bad emerge and u hold both of them coz u have to dispose acts, thoughts, beliefs, statements, feelings in either of them.... thats when u start becoming sad, depressed, etc"

Will we ever be as happy as were when were kids???? Will we ever be able to smile back just coz someone is smiling at us and making faces???? Will we ever be able to forget things the next moment and smile to the same person who hurt us????

Will we ever be simple....????